I like to think that I have a sense of humor, but I just don't get this one-liner by Rick Santorum's Daddy Warbucks, Foster Friess. "And this contraceptive thing, my gosh, it's so--it's such--inexpensive, you know, back in my days, they used Bayer Aspirin for contraception. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn't that costly." So what's funny here? If the "gals" keep an aspirin between their knees, they can't have sex and therefore can't get pregnant? Is that it? Is that The Joke?
First of all, let's all chip in to send FF a copy of the Kama Sutra (or even an elementary how to do it manual), where he can find some exotic and some extremely obvious positions in which women can get pregnant and still keep their knees together.
But why aspirin? Why Bayer aspirin? What do I not understand? Why an aspirin between the knees rather than, say, a bible? Or a book by Newt Gingrich? Or a copy of the The Joy of Sex.
Foster Friess says all this aspirin fun took place "back in my day." I would like to say that FF is a year younger than I, and that I a) never heard the joke (if it's a joke) back then, and b) never heard tell of a single woman who used knee-aspirin as a contraceptive.
I did some internet research on the aspirin-contraceptive connection and discovered that there's a story going around in high schools that taking three aspirin and drinking a Coke before intercourse will prevent conception. Advice to young people: do not bank on it.
Will the Santorum administration, immediately upon taking office in 2013, ban aspirin?