Why doesn't Dick Cheney put a bullet in his brain? It would do him (and his reputation) a world of good. What could possibly stand in his way? Once he sprinkles the ratsbane on his porridge -- and, of course, leaves behind a detailed and humble letter of apology -- he will begin to free his soul of sin and to enjoy some piece of mind. When he has fallen on his sword, his lackeys and toadies will be able to claim that while he was a black-hearted knave, at least he wasn't a shameless black-hearted knave. They can try to persuade us that although he was egregiously and dangerously wrong, he was, like another suicide, Othello, "great of heart." But if Cheney continues in his surly, obstinate, unapologetic lip-curling silence -- why then, he'll go down in the books as an unrepentant demi-devil like Iago ("From this time forth I never will speak word").
Cheney has brought disgrace upon our beloved nation and upon himself. Using faked spy data, he suckered the ignorant, feckless Decider and almost the entire Congress into invading Iraq. His war has been a monumental disaster. "Full of scorpions [should be] his brain." At this moment of writing, Cheney is guilty of killing 3260 American soldiers and maiming (by official count -- who can possibly guess at the truth?) 24,314 others. If Cheney has even the most rudimentary of consciences, on it lays the heavy burden of 60,000 to 100,000 Iraqi souls. The Dickster has cost America $414 billion dollars, loss of prestige and the squandering of oceans of good will. Like Anthony, he "has lived in such dishonor/ That the gods detest [his] baseness." But Antony took the proper course. When Cheney dispatches himself -- "after the high Roman fashion," let's hope -- he'll have taken the first step toward rehabilitating himself and the nation. For him not to do the deed would be ignoble.
Dick: I know that you're hunkering in your bomb-proof shelter. I know that you're up late at night, sleepless with guilt. You're cruising the internet, perchance googling "Cheney + suicide," and you're wavering in your purpose. Dick -- take my considered advice. I'm thinking of your place in history. At this point, "you have no friend,/ But resolution and the briefest end." You'll immediately feel better. It's a no-brainer. Go for it.
April 10. Spike Schapiro comments: "Dr. M. -- I've read your exhortation to suicide and also Otis Brown's Comment (see below). You are, as usual, falsely optimistic, but OJB is right on target. Cheney can't off himself because a) he's shameless and b) he's a total coward, and c) he has no self-knowledge and d) he can't point a shotgun. You cite the precedents of Othello and Anthony but they're both great spirits and therefore irrelevant. Cheney is a slug."
When the time comes to pull the trigger, Cheney will discover that he has "other priorities."
Posted by: Otis Jefferson Brown | April 18, 2007 at 05:52 AM
P.S. to Mr. Nader: Thanks, Ralph.
Posted by: Otis Jefferson Brown | April 10, 2007 at 10:55 AM
Don’t hold your breath, Doc. Suicide requires guilt, shame, a level of self-awareness and an apprehension of reality that will forever be unknown to Cheney. But don’t despair: sooner or later the anvil of history will fall on his head.
Being unfamiliar with the architecture of Hell, I don’t know if it has upper, middle and lower levels. Just to be safe, joint accommodations should be arranged for Cheney and George W. Bush, the Worst President In American History. Aside from the lies, arrogance and incompetence that has ruined tens of thousands of lives both in the US and abroad, WPIAH committed the most offensive act I’ve ever seen or heard of from an American president, an act that made oral sex in the Oval Office look like high-minded statecraft by comparison. I refer to the Wahington press corps dinner of a few years ago when WPIAH made a comedic skit out of his inability to find Saddam’s non-existent weapons of mass destruction. You remember the scene: WPIAH on all fours, searching under his desk mumbling, “Where are those weapons? They were here a minute ago” – all this while the Beltway establishment, including the “liberal” journalists, roared with laughter. Somehow I suspect that the parents of servicemen and women who were putting their lives at risk in Bush-Cheney’s fraudulent wild goose chase weren’t laughing quite so hard.
And while we’re arranging accommodations in the eternal sauna, order some extra towels and stools for Wolfowitz, Perle, Kristol – none of whom ever served for a minute in the military - and the whole neocon cabal that helped get us into Iraq. They’re all very brave with other people’s lives.
So what do we do with the post-facto opponents of the war? I’m thinking of weasels like Thomas Friedman and Chris Matthews who now fancy themselves tough-minded critics asking the tough questions. Where were they when the tough questions were needed? I’ll never forget it: as the statue of Saddam came tumbling down Matthews screamed into the microphone: “We’re all neocons now!” As for Friedman, he originally thought the war was a nifty idea. His columns in the Times were very influential in convincing otherwise intelligent people to go along with Bush’s folly. Now, whenever I see him on TV excoriating Bush for his mishandling of the war, I want to shout: “Schmuck! You helped get us into this!” And let’s not forget the odious Don Imus – the same creep who is currently groveling before Al Sharpton in order to save his radio career – who also claims to be a war critic. On the eve of the invasion Imus made the following announcement: “The official position of this program is: We’re in favor of invading Iraq because it would be fun.”
Now they claim to see the light. Better late than never, I suppose, but I hate ‘em all.
Posted by: Otis Jefferson Brown | April 10, 2007 at 07:12 AM