Wild Turkeys in My Garden

Even a decade ago, wild turkeys were an utmost rarity, and the sight of one in the distance caused everyone to stop and peer. But each succeeding year, there are more and more of them. They're everywhere -- on the roads, in the fields, even under the apple trees, gorging themselves. Last week, a hen and a dozen poults walked bold as brass right up onto our front lawn, ten feet from the deck.  Didn't even bother to hasten away -- took their own sweet time wandering off.

I don't believe that turkeys were native to Vermont, but it's well known that since the reintroduction, they've expanded well beyond their former range. They're adaptable and wily creatures.

The domestic turkey is legendarily stupid. Its brains have waned as its breasts have waxed. The wild turkey, on the other hand, is smart, though given to occasional lapses. Sometimes the hen leads her brood through the woven wire fences. She knows the route, but one or two of the poults will find themselves barricaded from the flock. They set up a wail. The flock comes to a nervous halt. After a while, the spectator -- me -- can't endure the tension. I slowly head over to see what I can do, trying not to alarm the lost fowl -- whereupon the poults suddenly remember that they know how to fly. Unlike their domestic cousins, they're strong fliers. They clear the fences with ease.

I now understand a few words of Turkeyish. The male gobble: "I am very large and handsome; come mate with me."  The poult peep: "I'm lost.  Where is everyone." The hen cluck: "Come along with me." The double cluck: "Everyone fly into the trees."

Here's what worries me. Every year there are more and more turkeys. Even the hunters can't keep up with the population explosion. Will the turkeys turn into a rural version of pigeon? Overrun our gardens and fields? 

Where are the fisher-cats, the foxes, the coyotes, the hawks?  Get to work, guys. While turkeys are not exactly sitting ducks, they're still very tasty.   

Comments

[Jon]

Don't know my home URL. Sorry.
Ok - you've got the head of Alberto Gonzolas. (I regret never seeing Peckinpah's Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia.) Any comment about the designated nominee? Democratic blogs seem to think he'll be as compliant as Mitchell was to Nixon. But my first impression of whatshisname brought up the revered memory of Archibald Coxe - the independent prosecutor whose firing ignited the Sat. Night Massacre. Probably nothing that would set off an impeachment inquiry will happen; I imagine we'll have to wait out the stumblebum's term.