Oh No! What's Happening to Me?

So, a couple of days ago, we were watching some basketball on the HDTV, and despite the fact that Carmelo was going to the rim virtually at will, I was kind of down and depressed.  Trying to cheer me up, the companion of fifty-plus years says, "I'll tell you what.  I'll get you anything you want -- absolutely anything at all."  Meaning, of course, anything edible, anything from the kitchen.  We'll I'm not abstemious, I've always been a good eater, and I recognize that food has the power to confer good cheer, so I thought and thought, and finally I said, "I know what I'd like. How about a cup of decaf tea and two prunes."  And then after a few seconds, I screamed, "Holy moley, what in the living heck has happened to me?"  Is it now the case that outer limit of my once-voracious imagination is a cup of decaf tea and two prunes?  So embarrassing, so downright geezerish.  What ever happened to ice cream sundaes with Fox's U-Bet and real whipped cream, to rich and gooey lasagna, to late-night salami sandwiches on deli rye (not that we would have any of those ingredients stocked in our bland-healthful-but-tasteless-low-cholesterol refrigerator). It's all downhill, this septuagenarian eating.  Ou sont les pepperoni pizzas dantan?  Where are the bacon cheeseburgers of yesteryear?