Regular readers of Dr. Metablog know that the good doctor has been flat on his back for a couple of months. However, I'm glad to say, the crisis has passed and I'm upright once again.
While lying there I had an opportunity to think about old times. I began to recall some things that my father used to say. I wouldn't say proverbs or gnomic wisdom or anything so formal -- just sentences that would occasionally, casually, pass his lips. Here are a few of them, lightly annotated.
1."Never omit an opportunity to do a someone a favor, and never be embarrassed to accept a favor." My father would say, "people like to help each other." My own experience has confirmed my father's wisdom and I've tried to follow his example. However, there was a time that I ran into a stone wall with this one, I was forced into close dealings with a man whom it was impossible to help -- because whenever I did something for him, he thought that it meant that he had outwitted me. My favor, offered freely, became his triumph. Needless to say, our relationship did not prosper.
2. "Anyone can get rich if he makes it the entire effort of his life." My father was the least materialistic person I've ever known. He had no possessions and wanted none. Not only did money hold no allure, but he was contemptuous of those who felt the need to acquire it. But was he right? Can "anyone" get rich? I don't think so. I've known people who tried and have gone down in flames. But I certainly understand my father's point.
3. "When the stock market is going up, everyone's a genius." I know that my father owned one stock in his entire life -- because a friend insisted. He would have kept his cash in the mattress if he could have. I think that recent world economic events confirm his sentence and lead to a corollary -- "sometimes the geniuses only seem to be geniuses."
4. "Never get into an argument with a drunk." He was certainly 100% on target on this one. There's just no odds -- even if you win the argument, the drunk doesn't know it. Plus the jerk is liable to throw the beer bottle at you. (I doubt that my father was drunk a single time in his entire life. I was drunk once, in 1962, and it was enough).
5. "Try to do the things you're not good at." He said that when he was younger he would say, "I don't like to swim" when the truth of the matter was that he wasn't a good swimmer. (He was a fine athlete.) He would counsel me -- "do what if you're not good at it. Try it." I wish I could say that I've honored this precept, but in all honesty, I haven't. Sorry, pop.
6. "Don't forget to wash behind your ears."
7. "Always try to appeal to the better side of human nature." For example, in raising children, you should not punish a child; instead, you should say, "you don't want to be the kind of person who would do such-and--such." I believe this saying of his to be practical and useful. Needless to say, my father didn't respect that side of the political/ religious/ social spectrum that considers human beings to be fallen, inherently depraved and selfish creatures. He was basically optimistic -- though his optimism was certainly tempered by the public events of his last decade.
8. "Never run with the crowd for the sake of being one of the boys." This saying was central to his view of the world. I believe it came out of some particular experience of his youth but he never shared the details with me. I can certainly say that I've honored this precept -- perhaps to a fault. I could have been more sociable, more "clubbable"
hey! those seem a lot like the values i was raised with. small world!
Posted by: Spike D | September 24, 2010 at 10:10 PM
Glad to see you back, Doc! I look forward to your essays on this and that. Your present-day perspective on the distilled wisdom of your father made for a very enjoyable read. Thanks!
Posted by: Herm | September 15, 2010 at 08:46 PM