Wrapped in Caul Fat? Don't Tell Me!

Our peaceful town, not long ago provincial and off-the-track, has now become molto trendy. Only a generation ago, we were undistinguished, white-bread; and now we're America's happiest city, America's slimmest city, America's healthiest city, and, just recently, America's foodiest city.

It's embarrassing for me to live where I fall so far below the standard. When I'm melacholy, I feel as though I'm a traitor to the common good. And I confess that never even heard the word "foody" until I read that we were now "foodiest."

I don't usually frequent the expensive new restaurants -- they're too exotic for my mac-and-cheese palate. But I was taken to one of our fanciest new places recently and listened in at a conversation between patrons and waiter at the next table. I transcribe it exactly as I remember it. I swear.

Patron A:  "I think I'll start with the julienned watermelon radish. Is that served with tzitziki?"-

Waiter:  "Just a dollop." 

Patron B:  "I'll have the hedgehog mushrooms with panko crumbs.  Are your bulgogi sliders marinated or grilled?"

Waiter:  "Marinated, then lightly grilled. Then dusted with sudachi zest."

Patron: A:  "I think I'll also have the clear gel of agar and turnip puree with chestnut crumbs. Are your chestnut crumbs domestic or foreign?"

Walter:  "I believe they're Italian."

Patron B:  "I see that you have coconut tofu cream. Do you serve that separately, or with the grapefruit curd marscapone?"

Waiter:  "I believe that the chef likes to combine it with the date marmalade and harissa."

Patron A:  "For a main dish, I'll have the lamb en crepinette. To Patron B (aside whispering):  "Roasted in caul fat."

Patron B (aside, annoyed):  "I know that. (To the waiter):  I think I'll go with the squid ink and hot sesame oil soup."

Waiter:  "Excellent choice, madam."

Patron B:  "And then the braised rabbit with lobster knuckles and pil-pil dill. Is your pil-pil wild or domestic?'

Waiter:  "I'm not sure. Wild, I would guess."

Patron B:  "And along with that, I'd like a side of pickled ramps and fermented garlic, with a poached duck egg."

Patron A: "Waiter, may I change my mind. I think I'd prefer the singed octopus in almond puree. Or maybe the snails with liquified parsley, or just something simple, like sea urchin served over discs of scallop with a hamachi and farro salad."

Patron B: "I think I'll change my order as well. I think I'll go with the espelettes in pistachio yogurt sauce. Or the veal sweetbrads with sheepmilk dumplings. Or the okroshka with quail eggs."

The conversation went on like this for ever and ever, and I began to feel myself out of place, so I left and went up to Marie's in North Boulder and ordered a hamburger en bun with raw oignon and an old favorite of mine, a traditional sauce de tomate called ketchup. It was mighty satisfying.

Comments

[Kyla]

I completely get the sentiment, but Marie's is not an alternative that I'd recommend, from a food safety and really bitchy owner perspective.