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May 07, 2020


I. Kutchakakov

"Dream-girl, dream-girl/ Beautiful Lustre Creme girl/ You owe your crowning glory to/ A Lustre Creme Shampoo." Up yours with gauze. Digger O’Dell, the friendly undertaker. Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. Hubba-hubba ding-ding, dere’s a girl’s got everyt’ing. "Toreador/ Don't spit on the floor/ Use the cuspidor/ That's what it is for." Ish Kabibble. L-A-V-A L-A-V-A. “Hitler had only one big ball,/ Goering had two but they were small;/ Himmler had something sim’lar/ But Goebballs had no balls at all.”

Knobby Walsh

John Cameron Swayze. "You get no bread with one meatball." Uncle Fred Sayles. Rag Mop. "And away we go!" Sez who? Dagmar. Buffalo Bob. "The first Marine went over the wall, parley-voo..." Bert Lee and Bert Lee Jr. "It's six o'clock, B-U-L-O-V-A Bulova watch time." See you in the funny papers. "You'll wonder where the yellow went..." "Gable's back and Garson's got him!" Why did the moron throw a clock out the window? "There was a boy, a very strange, enchanted boy..." Clair Bee. Senator Ford and Joe Laurie Jr. Hey, bob-a-rebop. Leverett Saltonstall. "Don't be a schmo, Joe / Be in the know, Joe / Religion and race / Just don't count in this place."

Fred Vandeventer

What the hey? Drop dead. You and what army? Your mother wears Army shoes. Hunky-dory. Open the door, Richard! Chicky, the cops! Kilroy was here. Get a horse! “They tried to sell us egg-foo-yung.” Hey, goombah! These are the jokes, folks - I can hear you breathing. “Manana is good enough for me.” Take my wife - please. Take a long walk on a short pier. Okey-dokey. One potato, two potato, three potato, four- five potato, six potato, seven potato, more. Two o’clock in the button factory. Beat me, daddy, eight to the bar. Getoutahere!

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