It's unlikely that I will be killed by a tsunami. I just don't get to the seashore very often -- the last time was five years ago -- and I happen to reside most of the year at an altitude of 5300 feet. It would have to be one heck of a tsunami that would find me here -- 1200 miles inland. An ordinary rainfall-caused flood is a more likely cause of death. We have a big one every decade or so. But still, I live on the second floor of a concrete and steel-I beam building and even a thousand-year event wouldn't touch me. I might be in danger if I happened to be hiking in one of our many narrow canyons, where you see signs that say "in case of sudden flood, climb to safety." But I'm not much worried about a narrow canyon situation because I like to stay home and in bed when it starts to rain or even when there's a threat of rain. For the same reason, I'm not afeard of dying in an avalanche. I don't ski and I don't climb mountains, especially in the winter. In fact, I tend to stay at home, sipping hot cider, on cold days because I'm afraid of slipping on the ice and busting an arm or a leg or a hip. A volcano, then? Not likely. There are no active volcanoes nearby and those hotspots under the geysers in Yellowstone aren't schedule to explode for a few hundred thousand years. I just can't see myself racing ahead of a pyroclastic flow. A forest fire? Always a danger because they've become more frequent with global warming. Nevertheless, I don't think a forest fire is likely to kill me because even though I live less than a mile from the mountains, there's enough buffer between my home and the forest that it's pretty impossible for a fire to cross into my zone. (A house fire is even more unlikely, especially because of the up-to-date built-in sprinkler system and the cinderblock-enclosed staircase). I suppose I could be killed by a lightning strike but I'm not likely to be outside running around in a sudden storm. A hurricane -- well, we don't have any here and although I spend a significant amount of time in New Orleans, I limit my visits to the late winter or early spring, so I'm not in residence during the bad season. A tornado is a remote possibility. Once again, I'd have to go far to find one, because they don't seem to come into my city. I once identified a funnel cloud out to he east, but it didn't touch ground. A blizzard? Well, I've certainly experienced blizzards and once I was caught in one, but frankly, unless I should happen to drive the Subaru into snowbank and freeze to death, or go out for a long walk in the open space in the midst of a storm, I'm not likely to perish. Then there are earthquakes, which would be a real possibility if I lived in California or along some other fault, but not here in the stable Rockies. So on the whole, I don't think I'm going to die in some natural disaster.
Wait, what about a meteorite falling from the sky and bopping me on the head?
Actually, that sounds like a good way to go. No long period of fear and anxiety waiting to drown or burn or be buried, just instant death while strolling in the park on a sunny afternoon. A perfect ending.
Which reminds me of the death of Aeschylus, who, according to the story, while walking on a beach, was killed when an eagle picked up a turtle, and trying to break its shell, dropped it on him, thinking that his bald head was a large rock.
Death by falling turtle -- ridiculous. Death by meteorite -- glamorous and romantic. A story for latter generations to savor.
Oh, oh. I just thought of another natural disaster. Sinkholes. I don't want to be swallowed by a sinkhole. Not at all glamorous. Memorable, yes. Glamorous, no.
Comments