Among my circle of friends, it is a shameful thing to be called "house proud." It's a term to be avoided, even shunned. It's competitive and flaunts the wrong values. Conspicuous consumption. Vanity. "I own a bigger house than you, and therefore I'm a better person than you." "House pride" is a very badddd feeling of the human heart. So therefore I was astonished when I opened a new edition of Luxury Home Magazine (which should be called Conspicuous Consumption Quarterly) to discover that in this publication shameless vanity is now not implied, hinted at, or disguised, but flaunted. The magazine's reiterated theme: "Make your friends envy your trophy home." It says so in so many words! Gasp!
And indeed, from the pictures and descriptions of these homes, it's clear that the advertised trophies are not designed o live in, but rather to let their owners wow their friends and demonstrate how wealthy (and wasteful) they can be.
Does anyone actually require a 15,000 square feet house with three kitchens, even if one of them is outdoors. "Main kitchen boasts two islands, multiple refrigerators, freezers and sinks." And a wine cooler (in addition to the wine cellar). "Five beds, eight baths, seven fireplaces?" "Massive vaulted ceilings with a towering three sided stone chimney?" Also, a "luxurious soaking tub, double-headed shower, and makeup vanity?" Two "indoor-outdoor pools?" An elevator from the basement to the widow's walk? "Large tiered media room." Game room. Basketball court. A putting green. Five oversized garages with 20 foot windows?
Also, "breathability," whatever that is.
I'm embarrassed that I'm on the Luxury Homes' mailing list and I'm embarrassed, once again, to be a member of the species homo sapiens.
My advice to readers whose mouths water when they yearn for a trophy home: "enough is as good as a feast."
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